


oblivion

by starshipz



Category: Cravity
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, That's it, idk hhh, thank u if ure reading this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:48:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23356459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starshipz/pseuds/starshipz
Summary: OBLIVION ; the state of being unaware of what is happening around you.koo jungmo has always been kang minhee's eyes. the latter has never seen the world, nor the world has seen him. he's very secretive and  unintelligible, and that's why jungmo has been holding himself back. but not today, as he finally gathered up his courage to confess to his one and only love.
Relationships: Kang Minhee/Koo Jungmo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	oblivion

kang minhee has never seen the world, nor the world has seen him. he admits it himself, how difficult to read he is. how he has a lot of secrets. how he never expresses his thoughts. well, that’s a given to someone like him. he’s been blind since he was born. he has never seen the world, how beautiful and grandiose it is. he envies kids his age that play pc games, enjoy sceneries and just simple things that he can’t do. his parents have left him when he was still small. his mom died in a car accident when he still was an infant and his dad left him some time after that.

minhee thinks he’s a burden, a burden to everyone he touches and interacts. that’s why maybe his dad left him. that’s why maybe his mom was fated to leave this world early. maybe he’s the walking bad luck. well, everyone either dislikes or hates him as he is.

but there’s an exception. koo jungmo has been his eyes. he’s been living with him since jungmo’s parents decided to take minhee home when he was 12 years old after doing charity work at a foster home years way back. jungmo has been nothing but a blessing in minhee’s life. he’s been taking care of him a lot. he takes him to places he’d like to go to, and uses his deep vocabulary to describe how it looks like. he has always said, “it doesn’t matter how it looks, it matters how it feels.”

minhee has seen jungmo as his hyung, an older sibling. he sometimes feels he has put much burden to his hyung but jungmo always say that he isn’t. jungmo hates that. jungmo hates how minhee often says that he only sees him as a brother meanwhile he sees him in a different way. he has never had enough courage to tell minhee. to tell him how he truly feels for the lad, but today, he finally gathered them up, and decides to finally say the words he’s been meaning to say for a long time.

the day is bright as the blazing sun envelopes the morning sky. the ambiance is very fitting for a Saturday hang-out. a Saturday date as how jungmo wants it to be. he has taken minhee to several places already. the park, the arcade, the beach and sadly how fast time has passed and it’s already getting dark. they both decided to go to a café, their favourite café they always go to and fill up their bellies to somehow complete the day.

the café’s music has been very comforting for the both of them. the sound is so endearing and it makes minhee somewhat happy everytime. he’s interested in music, too interested as he’s able to write his own. 

“don’t you think the music today sounds great?” jungmo asks minhee who’s busily drinking his favourite drink. he thinks for a few seconds before he replies with a nod. jungmo observes minhee. his adorable facial featrues, not to mention the freckles he’d die for. his pink lips that makes him want to kiss right now but he chooses not to, well it isn’t a choice but a given.

the atmosphere has silenced for a few minutes, which made jungmo anxious. he’s been practicing last night with what he’s about to say but it seems like he couldn’t do it now. he shakes his hands to relieve his nerve and sits up straight as he’s about to say it. it’s now or never, his mind kept telling him.

“minhee..” minhee faces him, not making an eye contact. he furrows his eyebrows in curiosity.

“yes hyung?”

jungmo’s trembling lips wasn’t a hindrance with he’s going to say. he takes a deep breath for the last time.

“I have something to tell you.”

“...”

“i.. I like you minhee.. I really do.”

there. he said it. he thought that he’ll feel satisfied if he’s already said the words hee’s been meaning to say but when he saw minhee’s face turn gloomy, his heart slowly broke into pieces.

“don’t lie to me hyung.. I know you just feel pity for me..”

“why would you think I’m lying?”

“live a day in my life and see how easy it is to believe someone cares for you.” those were the words that stung jungmo’s heart. he has nothing to say, nor he has the nerve to speak more yet he still wanted minhee to know how sincere he’s feelings are. that those feelings aren’t pity, but what he truly feels. 

“minhee.. I know it’s been tough. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen how much you suffered. but I’m here to tell you how much you mean to me. how you’re not a burden. how I enjoyed every moment I’ve spent with you. I like you and I’m not kidding. well maybe I am, it’s because it’s more than that. I love you minhee, please believe me when I tell you that.”

jungmo notices how minhee turns his head away slightly, as tears started to cloud his eyes. jungmo doesn’t like how minhee’s crying because of him. he hurriedly puts his thumb against minhee’s soft cheeks as he softly wipes the tears away from his very beautiful face. 

“no, jungmo hyung. you haven’t even socialize yet because of me. you haven’t met enough people to say that you love me. who would love someone as broken and shattered as I am? I have a lot of scars, too much which all I keep. there’s so much more you don’t see, hyung.”

jungmo reaches for minhee’s hands, both giving each other warmth. he rubs circles against them which minhee liked. but not right now as he feels conflicted.

“show me your scars, then.”

“why?”

“I wanna see how many times I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most.”

minhee shakes his head.

“I’m dying, jungmo hyung. not now but maybe later. I wouldn’t last long with my disability.”

“no you’re not! I won’t let that happen! you don’t understand how much I love you, do you?”

minhee grew silent, unable to speak.

“I love you. all of you. even the parts of you that you hate the most.”

“I’m sorry, hyung.”

and it has been 3 months since, and a month since minhee went away. too far to be exact. jungmo enters the untouched room, oh how dark and solemn it is yet it still feels to familiar. he still remembers how they used to write songs together on the bedside. how they ate a lot of food until they have their own pot bellies. how every moment spent here feels like yesterday.

jungmo sits on the bed, his tears giving up on him as they slowly fall from his doe eyes. he sees a letter lying on his side and the handwriting looked very familiar. he opens it with a very heavy heart, feeling every needle piercing through his already broken heart.

to jungmo hyung,

hi hyung. I wrote this letter as I’m a coward to say these in person. I hate it actually. how I wasn’t enough for you. how undeserving I am for someone to like me like you. thank you for everything. thank you so much for being my light in this dark world of mine. thank you for being my eyes and for being positive with everything that seemed to lift my mood up too.

thank you for reminding me everytime of how much of a important person I am. I’m sorry for not seeing it. I tried seeking for my relevance but I’m sorry I didn’t see it the way you did. it’s kinda funny actually. how I wasn’t able to reciprocate your love, or that’s what you thought.

to be honest, I’ve always liked you, hyung. it’s stupid how cowardly I am to deny it. I just felt like it was better just incase I leave, which I probably have already done once you read this. 

don’t worry, hyung. I won’t be going far. this decision is very selfish of me but I just couldn’t handle with my feelings and thoughts anymore. I appreciate how you fought for me, how you said you were always here when I needed you but I’m sorry how I wasn’t able to fight for myself and that I’ve given up.

I’m sorry, thank you and I love you. three statements I wasn’t able to say. I know we’ll meet soon. soon in an alternate universe and I’ll make sure I’ll be able to see just so that we could get a happy ending. if we’re really fated, we will.

\- minhee

and in that moment, jungmo breaks down. he has never cried this much before. his sobs are filling up the whole room. he has many regrets. too much to mention. how he hasn’t been there for minhee before during his lowest points. how he didn’t take all of the reasons that drove minhee into taking his own life. he wipes his tears and looks at the back of the handwritten letter, a small note attatched to it.

"hyung, do you still remember the song we heard in the café? the one you told me that sounded great? I actually wrote that song for you and I’m really glad you liked it.”

**Author's Note:**

> welp that was a rollercoaster ride to write hhh there goes my second fic~ i hope y'all like it :> im sorry fro the typos if there r im 2 days past my bedtime hhhh


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